


Hollow

by AuroraAustralis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loneliness, Mentioned James Potter, Mentioned Lily Evans Potter, Mentioned Sirius Black, Post-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, or at least post - Battle in the Ministry of Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28246200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraAustralis/pseuds/AuroraAustralis
Summary: He had never felt so hollow. So empty. So alone.Sometime after Sirius had fallen through the veil.One-Shot.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Harry Potter
Kudos: 5





	Hollow

He had never felt so hollow. So empty. So alone.

Sirius was dead. The last part of his family was truly gone. And neither trying to torture Bellatrix Lestrange or being possessed by Voldemort had alleviated this void. All he had ever wanted – yearned for – was a home of his own. And his last chance had just fallen through a veil.

Hogwarts – he had always seen Hogwarts as his home. But it was a poor substitute – that was now clearer than ever. For someone like him – raised in a dingy little cupboard without love – Hogwarts had seemed grand and beautiful. But for every happy and positive memory he had experienced there – there had been many more negative, unhappy and lonely ones to overshadow them. His supposed friends who did only believe him when it was convenient and otherwise had shunned him like the rest of the school. Including the students in his own house, the allegedly bold and brave who were supposed to know right from wrong. The teachers were not even worth mentioning.

Even Hogwarts could not fill this void. Especially after Dumbledore’s latest betrayal. If he had been told the truth all of this today could have been avoided. But no, Dumbledore had chosen to ignore him – even after events in the past had demonstrated how he seemed to be attracted by dangerous situations.

No. He longed for a real home of his own. In some book he had found in the library he had read about the attack in Godric’s Hollow and the cottage he had lived in with his parents. There even had been some pictures included to show the wreckage to the structure of the house. The cottage had always seemed oddly small in his opinion – after all he had gathered the impression that his father’s family had been rather well off. Nevertheless, the size of the cottage had never made him yearn less for a home with his parents. And sometimes, in the deepest and unhappiest nights he had imagined a home with his parents. In his childhood – before Hogwarts he had had neither pictures of his parents nor their home – it had always been changing images but the intense longing still had always been the same. After he had arrived at Hogwarts with its impressive library, he had devoured every book or newspaper which could inform him the slightest bit about his parents. And for the first time he could remember they had become real people to him, with a history of their own but most important with _faces_.

And even at Hogwarts, in the darkest and most unhappy nights those childish dreams of home and safety came back. But for the first time in his life, he had actually been able to picture his parents, their faces. Those everchanging people became real in a way they had never been before. And his parents were people he could be proud of. People he yearned to get to know.

Impossible. At least in the real world. But not in some nights. He dreamed of them. Them laughing, talking and even interacting with him – with him the little freak from the cupboard under the stairs. And he imagined them – all three of them in a home together where he would be safe and cherished and maybe even _loved_. Maybe they would live somewhere far away from the rest of the world. Maybe he would have a sibling, a little brother or sister who would play with him, probably even annoy him sometimes but someone with whom he would be able to prank his father and godfather – a second generation of Marauders. In his imagination and dreams everything was possible – even if it had always been for just a night.

His imagined home had never been Godric’s Hollow – even after he had arrived at Hogwarts. The pictures of the wreckage he had seen would forever forbid him to accept Godric’s Hallow as home. The place had never been important – just his family.

Maybe he would never have a home. Even if he wished for it with his whole being.

He had never felt so hollow. So empty. So alone.


End file.
